Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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