Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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