I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
