do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
