Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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