Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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