Sponge bath it is.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
