Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
