I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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