My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Randomize
