I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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