Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
