So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
