wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
