I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
