What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
