i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
