dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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