Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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