Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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