You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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