He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
