dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
