Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
