first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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