Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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