it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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