i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
