i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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