You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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