If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
