I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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