dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
