You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
