I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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