this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
