I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
