I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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