You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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