My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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