I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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