So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
