well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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