You're completely useless in the revolution.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
