The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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