I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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