Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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