I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize