Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
