I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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